Another push. The last one or I will go C-section
Dear Me,
It's been an uneventful week. I spent most of my time reading irrelevant stuff, trashy novels at night, been on a date and watched a bad movie from my couch. I think the aimless wondering needs to stop here.
Today, I made it to the university with the sole purpose of writing the rest of chapter 4. I need to send the bloody thing to GP this weekend. Preferable on Sunday.
I have to finish linking my work with a few more people before hitting send.
Then I need to move on to chapter 5 and 6. Chapter 5 is probably the one with the least editing required. Then chapter 6 needs some serious rewriting.
Referenced are all done, I will forever be grateful to Sean for doing them, even though his late A*****E behavior was atrocious.
Moving on.
I am nearly there. There is a new source of motivation.
Why am I so scared of doing something that is such a fundamental part of my talents?
I am an academic. A thinker. A connoisseur of words (albeit, only those written by others).
And where is it do I want to end up if I am terrified of getting over this hurdle?
I need to finish this to go on my merry way. Find a job I love doing, make some money so I can have a small place with my own rug and my own couch.
May be even a dog one day?
Another reason, I would like to have a family. My mom, mama Amna, and may be a hot guy who is really into me and who's good with emotional labor and is super self-aware and a kid or two. That would be fantastic. But I need to be financially in a good place. And I need to have my life good and running.. This round of dating (Oct-Nov) is closed now (a few more dates to go). But I am not super optimistic. After meeting E, it became very difficult to focus. He changed my perspective on potential people, and I feel now that the world is indeed a very big place and I should never settle.
Also, part of the attraction is what everyone is about. Be it their hobbies, interests, skills, what makes them tick etc etc.
I got very excited by E's outgoing attitude. His excitement about life in general, and his own life in particular.
I think once anyone cultivates that attitude, they become irresistible.
I have to go for lunch now. Then start attacking chapter 4 for the last time.
It's been an uneventful week. I spent most of my time reading irrelevant stuff, trashy novels at night, been on a date and watched a bad movie from my couch. I think the aimless wondering needs to stop here.
Today, I made it to the university with the sole purpose of writing the rest of chapter 4. I need to send the bloody thing to GP this weekend. Preferable on Sunday.
I have to finish linking my work with a few more people before hitting send.
Then I need to move on to chapter 5 and 6. Chapter 5 is probably the one with the least editing required. Then chapter 6 needs some serious rewriting.
Referenced are all done, I will forever be grateful to Sean for doing them, even though his late A*****E behavior was atrocious.
Moving on.
I am nearly there. There is a new source of motivation.
Why am I so scared of doing something that is such a fundamental part of my talents?
I am an academic. A thinker. A connoisseur of words (albeit, only those written by others).
And where is it do I want to end up if I am terrified of getting over this hurdle?
I need to finish this to go on my merry way. Find a job I love doing, make some money so I can have a small place with my own rug and my own couch.
May be even a dog one day?
Another reason, I would like to have a family. My mom, mama Amna, and may be a hot guy who is really into me and who's good with emotional labor and is super self-aware and a kid or two. That would be fantastic. But I need to be financially in a good place. And I need to have my life good and running.. This round of dating (Oct-Nov) is closed now (a few more dates to go). But I am not super optimistic. After meeting E, it became very difficult to focus. He changed my perspective on potential people, and I feel now that the world is indeed a very big place and I should never settle.
Also, part of the attraction is what everyone is about. Be it their hobbies, interests, skills, what makes them tick etc etc.
I got very excited by E's outgoing attitude. His excitement about life in general, and his own life in particular.
I think once anyone cultivates that attitude, they become irresistible.
I have to go for lunch now. Then start attacking chapter 4 for the last time.
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