The end of this year
Sitting at my small table in the middle of nowhere Sask. And thinking how in the universe I ended here.
I am having deeply satisfying time, with very kind and stimulating people. I couldn't ask for more. Well, I am starting to gain weight (yeah, in some of the right places for the first time in my life - laughing).
I have been through so much these last few months that it is difficult to capture the magnitude or intensity. I traveled home and back again. I got together with my ex and back again. I met my childhood friends for the first time years.
I also couldn't submit my thesis on time. I took a leave of absence. I am still struggling with writing it at this very moment.
I joined a community or two of like-minded people. I learned new things. I met highly-compatible people with highly-controversial lifestyles.
I am becoming a bit of a recluse, but I don't mind it as much since it allows me amble opportunity to further grow in my interests.
And I still use the pronoun "I" too frequently.
I am starting to see things a bit more clearly. Albeit, I still have to gain more focus and learn to better express myself.
This is my last note for the year. I wanted to end it on a positive note.
So, here we go:
I am the steward of myself. I will keep it intact, healthy, driven, successful, and focused. I will be alert, positive and fearless. I will feed my mind and nourish my soul. I will be physically fit, capable, and strong. I will be kind, thoughtful and give less fucks at the same time.
I have spent so much time on trying to fit in a mold. I shall never allow myself to be distracted as such.
I will not lower my standards for anyone, and I will stop focusing so much on my doubts and insecurities. will always acknowledge them for what they are: doubts and insecurities, but that's all that they would be.
I will strive to be self-disciplined, even better than my old self. I will remain positive even when faces with arduous tasks such as my thesis writing.
I will stop saying yes, and I will use No more often.
This year marks the shift in paradigm that has been in the making for the last fur years, and it is about damn time.
I am having deeply satisfying time, with very kind and stimulating people. I couldn't ask for more. Well, I am starting to gain weight (yeah, in some of the right places for the first time in my life - laughing).
I have been through so much these last few months that it is difficult to capture the magnitude or intensity. I traveled home and back again. I got together with my ex and back again. I met my childhood friends for the first time years.
I also couldn't submit my thesis on time. I took a leave of absence. I am still struggling with writing it at this very moment.
I joined a community or two of like-minded people. I learned new things. I met highly-compatible people with highly-controversial lifestyles.
I am becoming a bit of a recluse, but I don't mind it as much since it allows me amble opportunity to further grow in my interests.
And I still use the pronoun "I" too frequently.
I am starting to see things a bit more clearly. Albeit, I still have to gain more focus and learn to better express myself.
This is my last note for the year. I wanted to end it on a positive note.
So, here we go:
I am the steward of myself. I will keep it intact, healthy, driven, successful, and focused. I will be alert, positive and fearless. I will feed my mind and nourish my soul. I will be physically fit, capable, and strong. I will be kind, thoughtful and give less fucks at the same time.
I have spent so much time on trying to fit in a mold. I shall never allow myself to be distracted as such.
I will not lower my standards for anyone, and I will stop focusing so much on my doubts and insecurities. will always acknowledge them for what they are: doubts and insecurities, but that's all that they would be.
I will strive to be self-disciplined, even better than my old self. I will remain positive even when faces with arduous tasks such as my thesis writing.
I will stop saying yes, and I will use No more often.
This year marks the shift in paradigm that has been in the making for the last fur years, and it is about damn time.
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